An alleged poo scandal in the city’s inner-west has come to light via a sternly worded note attached to a property in Marrickville, addressed to a “mystery human poo-er”, and posted on Reddit.
The note, found on Silver Lane in Marrickville, asked the culprit to cease using the writer’s garage as a toilet, outlining that the residents had installed a fence and camera to catch the them in the act should it continue.
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In a sign of solidarity amid the pandemic’s strict lockdown measures, the writer of the note sympathised that they “understand that COVID-19 is tough on everyone,” but politely asked them to stop.
“Dear Mystery Human Poo-er,” it began.
“We have installed this fence and a camera to hand over to the police.
“We understand that COVID-19 is tough on everyone but please stop s**ting on our garage.”
It went on to provide a graphic description of the waste.
“Also make sure you chew your food better and whatever it is that makes it sticky I’d get that checked.”
It ended by providing directions to a nearby public toilet.
“There is a toilet in the carpark opposite Banana Joes. Thank you for your co-operation,” it read.
Sydney local Rebecca Street, who found the note, spoke to Daily Mail Australia about her discovery.
“The funny thing was is that it only covered a corner of their drive as if the pooper had being doing it in that specific corner,” she said of the fence, which jutted out onto the road.
“There was a camera mounted to the outside of the house in a quite obvious way. I gave it a good wave.”
The Reddit post has received an influx of comments speculating that the young woman caught squatting outside Sydney PR maven Roxy Jacenko’s office last October has moved on to a new suburb.
Other comments on the post suggested it could be a taxi driver, a delivery rider or a homeless person in the area.
“I bet it’s a taxi driver. There was a phantom pooper like that in the lanes around Ashfield a few years back and they caught a taxi driver doing it,” one person said.
Another hilariously wondered whether there was a secret underground movement of phantom poo-ers in Sydney.
“I swear sometimes you’ll see toilet paper next to the poo and I also wanna know if they planned for it?” their conspiracy theory began.
“Is there a free-s***ting movement I don’t know about?”
Last year, a young woman in a bright pink jumper, who became known as Paddington poo jogger, rose to notoriety after Roxy Jacenko posted several videos to her 253,000 Instagram followers in a public call-out to name and shame.
People who know the woman later revealed she deleted all her social media accounts due to the saga, at risk of being further publicly shamed, and as of December, police were still yet to track her down.
Mirroring the latest instance of public defecation in Marrickville, many were curious as to why Jacenko’s poo-vandal didn’t have time to go to the nearby cafe to go to the toilet.
Jacenko, who was widely criticised for her public approach to getting to the bottom of the issue, has said she is no longer interested in hunting down the woman, but police told news.com.au the Surry Hills Police Area Command had conducted an investigation into the matter.
“At this stage, no person of interest has been identified,” they said.
“Additionally we are not aware of any further incidents occurring since the matter was reported.”
They advised against people reporting crimes on social media, as Jacenko did, but rather encouraged them to visit their local police station to report incidents.