Joel Creasey shocked the A-list crowd with his hilarious – albeit quite risque – opening monologue at tonight’s GQ Men of the Year Awards in Sydney.
The awards show, presented by Audi, is an annual event that recognises and honours extraordinary men and women who lead by example and achieve great success in their chosen fields.
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Creasey kicked off the night with a NSFW story about his recent audition to appear as a host on Play School which was met with gasps from the crowd.
“I had a half-hour phone chat with the producers, thought it went great,” the comedian said. “I hung up the phone, two minutes later my manager got an email from the producers of Play School saying, ‘We don’t think Joel is going to be right for the role.’
“I think they figured, ‘there’s a bear in there’ would have a slightly different connotation coming from me,” he joked. “‘And a chair as well’ . Careful it’s got a little hole in the bottom, you might get a surprise. Open wide …”
The acid-tongued comedian then roasted some of the famous faces in the room with the guest list including Baz Luhrmann, Zendaya, Adam Goodes, Ian Thorpe, Jessica Mauboy, Sophie Monk and Julie Bishop.
Starting with the latter, whom he referred to as “The Prime Minister of Fashion”, he said: “Julie Bishop and I have a lot in common. We are both skinny, stylish blondes from Perth with the ambition to be on top. But when Julie says ‘top’ she means running the country and making important decisions. When I say I want to be ‘on top’ I mean, well, ask the closest gay sitting next to you and they’ll explain.”
The next star he singled out was Sophie Monk.
“She was the Bachelorette, host of Love Island, Hollywood movie star, winner of Celebrity Apprentice and single-handedly crushed the hopes and dreams of the other four members of Bardot. Is there anything she can’t do?” Creasey joked.
The comedian, who this week announced his Messy Bitch national tour, then turned his attention towards tennis superstar and former GQ Sportsperson of the Year, Dylan Alcott.
“I’ve been lucky enough to see Dylan’s beautiful keynote address several times in which he discusses some fairly serious and frankly unfair challenges that life has thrown at him,” the host said. “I thought, ‘Wow, could life throw much more at this poor bastard?’ And then he signed on to the reboot of Channel 9’s The Footy Show and I thought, ‘I stand corrected.”
And finally, Creasey delighted the crowd when he recalled his trip to Eurovision in Portugal where he watched Jessica Mauboy perform We Got Love.
“Let me assure you I did get love,” he joked. “I also got something else too. But you know, ‘we got the clap off a European backpacker’ doesn’t quite roll off the tongue,” he said. “Did on the night though.”
The big award at the GQ Men of the Year Awards presented by Audi is the trophy for GQ Man of the Year (think of it as the Gold Logie).
Last year it went to Joel Edgerton, with previous winners including Chris Hemsworth, Hamish and Andy, Hugh Jackman and Silverchair.
We’ll keep you up to date with this year’s winners throughout the night.
GQ’s Men of the Year issue goes on sale on December 2