In a Texan diner, by a woman named Dorris.
Hamish and Andy will use their first instalment of Channel 9’s Perfect Holiday to attend to some unfinished business in Texas, in the same town where Andy suffered a bloody injury during a high school gridiron training session 10 years ago.
RELATED: Perfect Holiday: Hamish had ‘saliva coming out of his eyeballs!’
RELATED: Hamish and Andy open up about brutal radio rejection
The culprit, Eric, was 16 at the time, and had slammed into the radio star while tackling him, busting his lip on impact.
“It was back during our first travelling show together, Camera to Caravan, almost 10 years to the day … I had to get stitched up by the local vet, who was only on the ground to look after the mascot which was a pig,” Andy recalled to news.com.au of the accident.
Now, back in Texas for their new show, they took the chance for payback.
Perfect Holiday follows the comedy duo through North America, with each taking turns to plan how they’ll spend their day.
“On day three Hamish said to me: ‘I’ve planned a day of revenge for you’ and I didn’t quite understand what that meant,” Andy told news.com.au.
“Not often when you’re on holiday with your friends or your partner or on your honeymoon do you set aside a day just for revenge,” he added.
Get the latest showbiz goss delivered straight to your inbox — sign up for our daily entertainment newsletter
“But he then, Hame, showed me the footage (from the first trip) and said, ‘I have spent the last few months trying to track (Eric) down without him knowing, and now I know where he is. Today is the day we enact revenge’.”
Having lured Eric to a cafe under the guise of catching up with his old football coach, the two cooked up their plot in the car on the way over, deciding to lace Eric’s drink with “every American’s worst nightmare”.
“Of course the nostalgia of catching up with his coach and chatting about the old football days lured him in,” Andy said.
“We tossed around a lot of different things,” he explained of the plan they eventually settled on.
“Hame let me decide in the car on the way there because he didn’t want to take the fun away from me … but he did bring a taser along,” he added.
“I thought was a prop taser until I turned it on and saw the zap … I was like ‘an accidental hit in the face … I don’t think a taser is an appropriate response to that,’ so we decided contaminating his food in the cafe was the best way to go about it.”
“We chose a food item that is like kryptonite to Americans,” he teased.
Roping in Dorris, the well-meaning waitress, and planting Hamish on a nearby table to relay Eric’s order to Andy in the kitchen, the pair set about putting their plan to action.
“The idea was I’d be in the kitchen, Hame would tell me what (Eric) had ordered, and it would come past me and I’d contaminate it for the ultimate revenge,” he said.
“As you’ll see on Sunday, it doesn’t quite go to plan,” he added, laughing, “But we got there in the end.”
Elsewhere in the series, which premieres on Sunday, Andy will put Hamish through a brutal challenge, tasked with eating the world’s hottest chilli.
“A lot of this show was going to lengths to try and hide the activity from the other person,” Andy told news.com.au.
“Sometimes there was a lot of work put in behind the scenes as misdirection,” he explained.
Hamish, convinced he was about to go a few rounds of boxing with a professional fighter, hired a trainer to teach him some moves.
But on the day of the fight, the actual challenge was revealed and it was far worse than he ever imagined.
“He was all fired up for the boxing match and then he found out at the last minute that his opponent was actually the hottest chilli in the world,” Andy said.
“The lengths to get this chilli were extraordinary,” Andy told news.com.au, adding that during the challenge, he began to worry about his mate’s wellbeing.
“During the ‘boxing match’ I said, ‘I think there’s saliva coming out of his eyeballs!’” laughed Andy.
“And that was amongst panic and laughter. I was going, ‘Holy sh*t!’”
Andy assured news.com.au that Hamish held no grudges after the insane challenge and said that his offsider “got his own back” with a challenge he arranged for Andy a few days later.
“I was asking the cameraman at the time, ‘Was this organised before the chilli challenge or after? Is this payback?’” Andy told news.com.au. “But apparently he had pre-planned it so it made me feel better about what I had done.”
Perfect Holiday premieres on Sunday on Channel 9 at 7pm.