To save time and effort, it has been agreed by all that instead of a continual dribble of remorse and vows of “must do better” during a campaign, there shall now be public stagings of apologies.
First up, the candidate for the Blind Freddy Party:
In the past few days it has come to my attention that certain remarks I have made in relation to that much-loved Australian marsupial, the wombat, have been, in my view, taken out of context. However, I acknowledge that there are those who might have taken offence at my comments, and for that I apologise. Nobody, I repeat nobody, adores the wombat more than I do.
However, having said that, in the light of hindsight and with more time for reflection, let me say that I do not now believe the wombat only eats roots and leaves. It has come to my attention that the wombat does much more. It also, for instance, eats grass and barks.